Cadence and The Messed Up Announcer
by Crittab
Summary: This is two stories in one neat package. Cadence is an actual fic that I worked hard on, and The Messed Up Announcer is jsut a messed up thing starring the JAG folks, and An Annoucer whose messed up : Enjoy them both, please.


Mac rushed into the ICU of Bethesda Hospital. A week before, Harm had been sent out to the Seahawk for a case. He was prosecuting for the first time in several months, and was happy to have an easy, open and shut case to work on. After the trial, in which he won, the defendant in a rage whipped out a concealed gun and shot Harm, which brought him here.  
  
Harm had arrived at Bethesda only half an hour earlier. Upon arrival they had called Mac.  
  
Mac turned the final corner and stopped short when she reached his room. Inside there was a woman sitting beside him, all but yelling at him to wake up.  
  
"Harmon Rabb Junior, open your eyes. I know you can here me!" She snapped. Mac walked slowly into the room.  
  
"Excuse me, who are you?" She asked. She had been made aware of Harm's state and knew his injuries weren't life threatening. The girl looked up and her face paled.  
  
"Wow. Harm told me you looked like Diane, but I had no idea you would be an exact replica," She said. Her voice was a mere whisper. Tears suddenly filled her intense brown eyes.  
  
"Who are you?" Mac said, lowering her voice to the girl's tone. She stood up and walked over to Mac. The two were about the same height. She had long, light brown hair and was dressed in a marine uniform.  
  
"I'm sorry, my name is Cadence. I was- am Diane's little sister. Harm and I became friends after Diane died. He told me about you. Sarah Mackenzie, right?" She asked. Mac looked over the woman. She could definitely see a resemblance between Cadence and herself, or rather, Cadence and Diane. Mac silently nodded.  
  
"I'm sorry for babbling, I haven't talked to anyone who answered me for the last hour. And apparently, you're not much different," She said cynically. Mac shook herself out of her reverie.  
  
"I'm sorry, this is weird. How is Harm?" She asked, looking to the man on the bed.  
  
"He's asleep, he wont wake up for me. Maybe if you give it a try," She suggested.  
  
"Why do you think that would work?"  
  
"Because he loves you. It's a proven fact that when people are unconscious, they can hear it when people talk to them. Maybe if you talk to him he'll want to wake up to see you."  
  
"Harm doesn't love me," Mac informed her. She looked over at his lifeless form as she said this. Cadence laughed lightly.  
  
"Yes he does. Now stop working your charm on me, and try it on Rabb-it," She said. Mac quirked an eyebrow at her.  
  
"Harm's last name is Rabb, he eats a lot of carrots hence the name Rabbit," Cadence quickly explained. Mac just shook her head and walked to Harm's side.  
  
"Hey there Flyboy, time to rejoin the land of the living," Mac whispered to him. Earning no response she tried again, her voice a little stronger now.  
  
"Commander Rabb, I got called out of an article 31 hearing to come and wake your sorry ass up, now the least you could do is open your eyes and give me a reason to be here," She said forcefully. This earned a grin from Cadence who had retaken her seat on the other side of the bed.  
  
"You did not," He said groggily. Mac laughed lightly.  
  
"How would you know, Stickboy," She asked condescendingly.  
  
"There are no article 31 hearings for at least another week," He opened his eyes and looked up at Mac, then at Cadence.  
  
"What are you doing here?" He asked her.  
  
"Nice to see you too Rabbit. For your information I got transferred to JAG," Cadence said.  
  
"You better not call me Rabbit at the office. I am your senior officer," He joked lightly. His voice was hoarse, but he couldn't let that stop him from pulling rank here and there.  
  
"I can't make any promises, Sir," She joked.  
  
"Did you meet Mac?"  
  
"Umm, no, I didn't react at all when I saw a living replica of Diane run in here. I just smiled and turned back to yelling at you," She said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.  
  
"Are you two okay?" He asked seriously.  
  
"Shouldn't we be asking you that?" Mac asked.  
  
"I'm fine. Any information on what happened to Lieutenant Leary?" He asked, speaking of the man who shot him after the trial.  
  
"He's in the brig until the sentencing," Mac said. Harm seemed satisfied by this.  
  
"So which once of you is going to break me out of here?"  
  
"The Doctor wants to keep you overnight, but you got really lucky, so you should be able to go home tomorrow, and back to work in a week," Mac informed.  
  
"A week?" He asked. He looked at her incredulously.  
  
"Yes, Commander, a week. You just got shot, you should be dead, let alone working," Cadence joked. Harm rolled his eyes at her.  
  
"Look, Harm, you only have so many lives left to spare. You aren't a cat. You are only aloud three instead of nine, and you just used up number two," Mac said softly. He looked at her and placed him hand on her cheek.  
  
"Birth defect Mac, I got four instead of three. Don't worry, I don't plan on going anywhere for a while yet," He said. She placed her hand on top of his.  
  
"I'm going to leave you two alone. I need some coffee," Cadence said. She kissed Harm on the cheek before heading out of the room. Harm returned his gaze to Mac.  
  
"You were really worried, weren't you?" He asked. She gazed longingly into his blue orbs.  
  
"I always worry about you Harm. You have a knack for getting into trouble. If I ever lost you, I don't know what I would do," She admitted.  
  
"You wont ever lose me Sarah. I-" He stopped short, realizing what he was about to say. She finished his sentence for him.  
  
"You love me," She whispered. He looked at her with an intense gaze and nodded. Despite herself Mac smiled brightly.  
  
"I love you too, Squid," She said. His lips turned into a wide grin.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Of course, you didn't know?"  
  
"Well, I suspected, but then I always found a reason why you wouldn't." With that she leaned down and kissed him hard.  
  
"Always go with your first instinct. It's usually right," She said. He smiled at her and brought her down for another kiss.  
  
The end. Or is it??  
  
Announcer: Tune in next time to find out what happens when Harriet tells Harm she's Pregnant with his child, even though they've never had sex.  
  
Harm: What!?!?? What the hell are you talking about, how is that possible??!?!?  
  
Announcer: Well, Harm, I don't know I guess you'll have to wait and see-  
  
Mac: Wait and see??!?!? Harm, what the hell did you do to Harriet?  
  
Harm: I- nothing, honestly, I don't know what's going on!  
  
Harriet: How dare you Harm? And after the passionate- Wait a minute- I've never done anything passionate with Harm, Announcer, what are you talking about???????  
  
Announcer: Really, you'll have to tune in next time.  
  
Bud: Rabb, what the hell did you do to my wife?!  
  
Harm: Nothing- Really. Hey I just got shot, where's the sympathy?!?!?  
  
Mac: Announcer, you better clear this up right now!  
  
Announcer: Or what?  
  
Mac: Okay, you asked for it. It's time to kill Mr. Announcer-  
  
Harm: Mac! No! Violence won't solve anything- (Holds her back as she lunges as Announcer.)  
  
Announcer: Ha, Ha, you can't get me- (Sticks out tongue at Mac. Harm takes great offence to this and lets go of Mac as the two hurl at Announcer.)  
  
Admiral Chegwidden: What is going on here?! (Mac and Harm jump off Announcer)  
  
Harriet (Stomps her foot and points at Announcer, in whiney voice says) He said Harm magically got me pregnant.  
  
Admiral Chegwidden: Oh for goodness sake, stop whining Lieutenant. (Her pouts and begins to cry) Announcer, what is the meaning of this?  
  
Announcer: Oh shit, I read the cue card wrong; this says Harriet tells A.J he's the father!  
  
A.J: You Have got to be kidding me?!?! I kept my distance from Harriet ever since I saw her give birth in my office. I would never do something that could make that happens again!  
  
Mac: Oh, well at least Harm's out of hot water.  
  
Bud: Sir, I swear, if you did anything with my wife, you will learn first hand what a prosthetic feels like when you get one after your castration for your-  
  
Harriet: Bud, A.J never touched me, this baby is Tiner's. (Harriet blurts this out uncontrollably)  
  
Tiner: What?!?!?!? NO! Lieutenant Simms, I thought you and I were the innocent pals. You know I would never touch you in an inappropriate manner. Besides, despite what you all thought in People vs. Gunny, I am gay.  
  
Sturgis: Oy vay (sighs deeply)  
  
Harm: Sturg, you're not Jewish.  
  
Webb: EVERYONE STOP!!! (Whole group shuts up and stares at the spook) Now, there is one simple way to fix this situation.  
  
Coates pops out of nowhere and says: What do you suggest Webb?  
  
Webb: It's simple. We all, one at a time, jump on Announcer and kill him.  
  
Announcer: No, wait, I object, that's a shitty idea. Let's work this out over a nice cup of coffee. (Everyone rolls their eyes and begin jumping on him. After a few moments everyone in the group has dog piled him and only his head is peeking out.)  
  
Announcer: Don't worry, I'm like Kenny, I get killed every episode! Tune in next time to see how the group deals with Tiner's admittance of being gay! (Tiner moves to Announcers head and punches him)  
  
The End.  
  
Or is it?  
  
Yeah, it is.  
  
Please don't ask about the Announcer thing. It's too late for coherent thought. I might make a sequel to this if I have time. Hope you enjoyed the madness. Bye, Bye. G'night. This is so sad *sniff, sniff, tear, tear, hug the loser. Whoops, wrong time for that. Later all.  
  
Your loyal author, Miss Christie A.M Blotnicky. 


End file.
